Feeling home

The moments that i am tired are always a bit harder but when i got my energy back i forget about that. I had a great time in Valladolid. I went visiting some place by myself by bus, Rio Lagarta. Normally there are crocodiles and flamingos here and the water is pink when it is sunny but i had some bad luck with the weather. I met some Mexican people on my way who were going to the same place so we ended up taking a little boat together. It was fun even it was cloudy. Also there was some beautiful cenote in the village i stayed that i visited one of the days.

After that, i had some days left before my flight to Baja California so i went to Cozumel, an island of Mexico. Because i felt good and i had energy i knew it was the moment to finally go diving again. You see i was very busy again, that is me when i have energy πŸ˜‰. I use it al in one time untill it is finished πŸ˜ƒ because i am so happy i have energy. Also because i want to take this moments and use them before i get to tired again and feel like doing nothing. I stayed at a lady her hostel, i loved it. It was like her home that she shares with many people. It has a big open kitchen and a swimmingpool. Many different kind of fruittrees and she always put on this sticks to keep insects away. She putted maps full of info and sometimes she was baking something for the people staying in the hostel. To be honest the hostel was quite empty. Mostly i shared my room with some men from the US, who where on holliday. They were very friendly. At the end i got used to wake up and share my coffee every morning with one of them and prepare or breakfast together, giving some tips to make it better πŸ˜ƒ. Every day there where staying also some other new interesting travelling or working persons in the room but mostly they stayed for just one night.

I rented a scooter to go diving and to explore the island because it is a big one, to big distance to walk! On Eastern i went doing a refreshcourse and 2 dives. It was great, we saw many nice fish, a turtle and swom in this hole where we were surounded by coral. Swimming in this tunnel with the sunlight shinning trough it 😍 Beautiful. The instructor and the couple i dived with were to nice, also the other people on the boat, so that made the hole experience perfect. I am very greatfull for this new memorie.

When i was in Playa del Carmen another time, i wanted to do a hang out with couchsurfing but at the end i never met up with the boy. We kept writing and finally the boy came to cozumel for 2 days to hang out a bit. He is a new friend, that i might see back one day. A great person, and also positive. We had some good moments and nice conversations. I learn so much from the people around me! I love it.

Like now, i am in Baja Callifornia to. I arrived in La paz. I would go help in a hostel in another place but i got stuck there. The workers at the hostel are so nice. It is also like a home we all share. Not to big. There are some amazing beaches around but still it is a city with nice little coffeeshops to. I already met some very nice peolple here, to explore with. There is a beautifull malecon, (beacheside walk) were you can do a nice little morning run. It is in a dessert place so it can become very hot πŸ˜‰. Every morning i have some very interessting conversations during breakfast. I feel that everyone reads so much and they are learning me a lot. It is a very interessting place, and i feel it is not to famous yet for backpacking. I don’t meet much Europeans here. It is a bit more expensive than other places in Mexico because it is a bit more remoted, many things arrive by boat. But this is also good for me, it makes me spend less money, i don’t want to buy things in an expensive place and i can cook myself in the hostel most of the times. Also i will do less activities because of that, so it will help me to keep myself not to busy for one time.

I wanted to stay in this hostel but there are already enough volunteers on the moment. I feel a bit sad about this because i don’t have this feeling a lot that i am ready to stay somewhere longer. Or maybe i changed. And it is not only the place but also me, that want to stay longer instead of always moving. i guess i will need to find that out. As they don’t have space for more voluntureers i will take my flight that i booked before to another city, Guadalajara, and maybe i will have the feeling again that i want to stay longer,if i meet the right people in the right place.

It would be good to try to stay somewhere so i can not go explore and be busy. At some point i will maybe get borred (what is a good thing) and finally i will take time to do things i told myself to do during travelling. Like reading books, watching documentarys, thinking about my life, calling some people…. that is why i want to do this, stop traveling, being busy. Also because i will maybe start doing other things than traveling, like I have this idea to make granola and sell it on markets in the villages.

Another challenge if i stay somewhere, would be, to meet people and when we get to know eachother very well i can not just leave again so we don’t get to much connected. Because that is something i usualy do during travelling.

pinacolades and carts in the hostel

amazing beaches around la paz 😍exploring a village ‘Todos Santos’ with lovely people staying also in the hosttel

I did a lot again the last weeks, that is why i did not write also, but i start feeling a bit tired also so i think it is the good moment to stay in a place. I hope i find that place soon.

Maybe i lied about not being excited, i was just a bit sad to leave la paz, because i am in baja now and it is also beautiful! I did some unexpected sunset hike when i arrived in the hostel with the people, it was more climbing than hiking πŸ˜ƒbut totally worth the view 😍. Also people here are very nice. But i am still happy that i go back to La Paz also because it is a very big hostel and i prefer smaller places. Some people didn’t go all to the top to see the view, they told me i am brave because i went. It is a nice feeling if they say this, not because i like that compliment but it remind me that after all this treatments i can still hike quiet good i think…πŸ‘.

Also i always love the feeling when i reach the top ❀️. I think Baja is a special place to me, one i will not forget fast, i feel like more and more become ‘me’ again and less angry for things that happened in the past. I start thinking more again about myself and i love to hangout more again with other people. But also i al starting to accept the part of me that is different now. I love the moments by myself also.

I think i start to learn how to find more balance in things in life. Before i was always going in extremes, like being always with people or always alone, start running for example so much I don’t enjoy ore like now i go when i wake up early and my body feels good to do it and ….

i think Jolien, my buddy, helped me also with this, finding balance and also with the connecting problem without realizing she did. I think it is another example of going in extremes , i am scared to connect with people because i am scared to attach to much. But getting her as a budy and getting connected and keep doing things together showed me i can have this without the ‘to much’. She was my budy while i got treatments, she became my friend during this time, i moved in with here and i got attached without choosing this, i accepted it (normally i would start taking more distance)but i tried to not get attached to much. And now i think we have a very nice friendship. i am still learning this but i think i am on the good way…and all this good new experiences on my way are helping me with this.

Maybe one day i will be ready to have a little network of people around me, start my little dream and open a hostel in a beautiful place together with my dog, where I will grow my own fruits and veggies . But i think i still have a long way to go πŸ˜ƒ. Also i think i have a little bit of fear now because of this cancer, that the time i will be ready, it will be to late…but still i am using this as my goal for the future and i use my traveling to work on this. And during this ‘working’ in myself i am still enjoying…a lot 😍.

So i go back to La paz tomorrow and normally i take a flight to a new place on the 4th. I think i will feel sad to leave! But who knows , it is still a few days. And plans in my life are changing fast and a lot πŸ˜ƒ.

If not, i am ready for some more new adventures in a new place.

As I expected, the plan changed, i met back the owner of the hostel and he told me they could use someone in one of their other hostels. So i stay this month a whole month in La paz. Yes😁, another new experience i am ready for.

i feel happy but also a bit scared now, because now i made the promise i can not just run away like that. Let’s see what is coming the next few weeks and how i will experience this.

Tomorrow, Thursday i will also need to find some doctor again because it is time for my 4 weekly hormoninjection. Last months i was sometimes very sick, always around the time i got my injection but i think it was concedes. I hope it was, i will see now how i will feel the next days. I am preparing myself to start reading books, today i already went sitting down with the book in my hand. Haha next step will be to open it instead of start talking to someone 😁.

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