Traveling is not the same like before cancer…for the moment

Today, monday, i had my flight to cancun in the morning. Yesterday i left the beach(i loved the Ecuadorian beaches)

and stayed one night in the city where i had my flight from, Guayagil. Wow it was superhot there, same like on the beach but without the breeze 😅.

I stayed one night with a girl. She was really sweet. It looks like she also wants to travel alone, but she is a bit afraid. She see European like adventurous 😃. She said , for her it looks like they just go anywhere . When she told me this , it showed me again how fear can limit us in living our lives sometimes. I told her that she could do the same and tried to explain that the world is not that dangerous like they sometimes try to show us, people are nice. But maybe it is because she already heard or experienced things, traveling South America is still a bit different than Asia, i think, but still you met hundreds of solo travelers here to. She offered me a ride to the airport early morning, because it is safer she said, but she charged a bit to much for it, 7 instead of 2 😬. So i took uber, it is safe to😉. But I understand she offers this for a cost so she could also travel because she goes to Europe with here family soon and Europe isn’t the cheapest place to travel to 😃.

Anyway, so i buyed a, already prepared salad in a supermarket to eat that evening but i got terrible sick again in the night. Again…. It is only a week ago that i had the same problem. I am so tired of this. I will lose a lot of weight like this but I don’t want. I guess, the worst thing i can eat abroad is a raw salad if I don’t prepare myself. I will never buy again😅. I am on the plane now. I took a lot of pills again this morning to keep everything inside. It is only helping a little. I feel my body is fighting again against something. I hate how weak my body is. I always want to start getting some muscles again and do sports but i get sick every time again and then i am to weak to do this.

What a morning, i didn’t sleep again because of this the whole night. Than when i arrived at the airport i just wanted to go sit close to a toilet and sleep. But another problem came up when i arrived, they wanted me to show a exit ticket out of Mexico. They checked my luggage in, i could go to the gate, but they told me, before entering the plane, i had to book a flight or busticket to go out again. So i was trying to do this while waiting in the airport but i didn’t had my little machine on me to do payments with my card and i needed this, it was in my big checked in luggage. I wanted to buy a cheap busticket to Belize but the website of the bus company didn’t work so well and i needed my machine. Again, my rescuer 😃, like she rescued me already so much the last year , Jolien was the first person who reacted( even she was in a meeting 😬) to save me when i text ‘sos’. She tried to book the ticket for me. As i had only 10minutes anymore (they where making the plane ready) before boarding the plane and i was the only one not in the plane yet. At the end we didn’t manage to compleet but the people let me in the plane anyway they couldn’t wait anymore😅. Lucky me that people are always so nice to me.

I am just tired and sick and i will be happy arriving Mexico after this day of travelling. First i have to take another plane and a bus to get their. It is a day of travelling. I am scared to eat or drink anything on my way. It start getting anoying that i am always sick. I will get even more careful with food i guess, even i was already more. I don’t like being careful. So again i go to playa for diving and again it will not be the good moment because of this. Last time i was there, i was also sick. I have a week to recover again and dive before i go voluntury a bit in Baja California. This is already the 5th time in some months i got this. I hope i get stronger and more immune again because i wanted to go to India later but i am not sure anymore for my stomach. It sounds maybe stupid but it is making traveling harder and hard to enjoy. When i am sick i don’t always stay in hostels so i meet less people, or if i do i don’t have the energy to socialize to much. I can also never join to get a beer than or something. I can’t do activities, can’t go to far from my toilet. So to me it don’t feel like i am traveling , like i did ,but just living in different places like i would do in Belgium.

Ok, again when i write this i am still happy i can still live in different places. I still meet different local people in the shops our the houses and other people. I guess i am starting to discover what they meant with, it will take time after treatments to get stronger again, and you should still take it easy. I shouldn’t get frustrated about it but maybe just be patient….more patient…and in this time i should maybe stay a bit longer in places. Like i will volunteer a bit in May so i will have a free bed for some hours of helping a day.

I am looking a bit now how i can wait a little, and in that time, taking it easy. I never readed a lot. But like i said before, i want to use that time to work a bit on myself. I will keep doing yoga, start reading, and volunteering. At least, that is what i say now, until i will have a little more energy again and i will have that feeling of moving and exploring again😬. I should live a bit longer in places, it is also a different experience. But i know myself, and this is how i think now because i am sick😉. A lot of chance i change again my ideas soon when i will have back that energy. But…why not 😁. Only maybe after i will regret again not have taking it more easy. But like i sayed before, that is my way how to deal with it.

I am already a few days in Mexico now. I stayed in Playa because i needed to recover and also i needed to do some things, i fly to Baja California to volunteer there in a week. I had to go to the medical pedicure again. Every month my big toe nails are growing inside my skin. Very painful. This is because during chemo i lost my nails and now, every time they grow back, they grow the wrong direction. awch whem they take it out it can be painfull. I waited a but to long but i was always in little villages before. But problem solved again. Also i needed a bookstore and some other things. It can be convenient to go once in a while to a bigger city where they have supermarkets.

I forgot my bankcard in the atm yesterday. That was another problem i had to solve. And all of that while i still had the bellyproblems🙄.

My arm, the side where my lymph nodes are removed, is also hurting these days. I hope i don’t get one of these fat arms. You can get this after removing your nodes, This stays one of my fears. But i think it is because i did to much yoga. Normally it would be good to start training again with a kinésist. But as i am not in Belgium i try it alone, i should just keep in my mind that i need to take it slowly. I will see if the pain gets better, because it is an annoying feeling that is the worst at night. It is hard to do for example yoga and take it easy, i always want to do all the things good, but i am always sometimes skipping some things and i always tell the teachers about it.

Next to that , 2 days later, i am already getting better again. I stayed here 2 days to recover and get some things but tomorrow i will take another bus again to a different village. These place is to crowded! Especially now it is summerholliday here for the people. I think I still shouldn’t dive as getting a lot of seawater inside is still not a good idea i think for my belly. But my time will come …soon 😃.

Travelling is not the same because, it is hard to enjoy when you are sick. But it is hard to enjoy anywhere on that moments. If i am better again i always feel very happy. I just noticed that this is happening quiete a lot the last months. But i need time i guess and be patient…

I am going to some small town today where they have some cenotes to swim in and also closer to Chitzen itza…one of the worldwonders. But i am don’t think i will visit this. To many people. But i am sure i will love the new place again and that i will meet some lovely people. 😁❤️

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