Time to take a break

For the moment i am at a beach in Ecuador, i realised i needed to find a peaceful place with not to much around to rest a little. Since i left Belgium, around a month ago now, i did already so much again. I was enthusiastic about traveling again. I went visiting many places around Ecuador.

Ended back where i started, in Quito. But the weather was different than when i just arrived, a bit fresh to me and rainy. I went back their because i wanted to clime some vulcanos around, but with this weather i don’t want.

So i looked for a warmer place and ended up in a little village, called Canoa. I got really sick their my first night. It was also a little bit to quiet so after 2 days when i felt a little better and managed to keep everything inside 😃(thank to some pills i took) i moved to this paradise. It took me 3 buses and 6 hours to get here, even I was already on the coast. I had to take a bus back, back inside of Ecuador to take 2 other ones to go back to the other coast side 😃. I was a but worried about traveling, like i felt, but because i had to change buses and i left early it wasn’t that bad, time past fast.

Anyway i am happy to be here now and because i try to listen to my body, i decided to stay here at least some days.

Today i joined a yogaclass. It felt great. This place is all about yoga and surf and relax, just what i need now. It is a really small village that opend not that long yet for tourism but their are already some very cute hostels and coffeeshops to hang out.

Also they have always fresh coconuts here and a kitchen in my hostel to cook some healthy food instead of all the fried stuff. Perfect. I realised again that being busy is nice but also sometimes an escape of being alone with myself. Now i will be busy but in investing in myself. Improving my Spanish more, reading , i am looking for some volunteering to help in a hostel next month in Mexico.

I signed up on this website: workaway. You pay one time 46dollars but then you have acces to a platform with people who are looking for volunteers to help them. It is very varied, from working on a farm to helping in a school, hostel… and places all over the world. This would teach me more about the hostel life and also learn me to stay in one place with the same people for a while without being scared to get good connections. I think i need to challenge myself in this as i will stop traveling at some point.

I am at this beach for 3 days now, i did yoga for 2 days and my body is totally stiff 😃. After I took a bus today to another small village on the beach to eat a ceviche. There is really nobody here and i am sitting right on the beach, amazing. I stay in a hostel so i have time for myself but in the evening i we go watch the surfers and sunset with the other people of the hostel. Everything sounds just like it should be. But still i feel i have this feeling i need to be busy and i always find something. Even in this small village the days are passing fast. Maybe i just like it to be busy, like many of us i guess. We are all busy in our own ways.

When i waited on the bus to get lunch i met this girl on the street. She told me she lives here in a little village on a mountain after the beach. She has a retreat for natural medicine and healing over there. Interesting… i told her i have cancer and she gived me her contacts so she could send me some information to help me. She told me nutrition is important. All things that could help me making myself stronger again are good for me. I discovered there are retreats like this all over the world now, but I wouldn’t join because they are always expensive.

When i was in Quito last week, i went to a hospital because it was time to get my 4 weekly injection of my hormontherapy, the injections that i have with me for the next year. I wad a bit worried how much they would ask to do this but as soon as the doctor saw the injection and knew what it was for he put it for free. Again he looked at the needle and asked if he hurted me, like they always do when they open the package 😃,but i didn’t feel anything.

I don’t like myself the same anymore like before. I wan’t to work on this because I don’t like it. That is also why i do the yoga. I just don’t know how else i will need to do this, maybe notice it is already a lit now i can work on this.

I still don’t like myself with short hair and i don’t like to watch in the mirror, and also i sometimes feel a bit bad that i don’t have the same energy like before. I know this will probably all come back. But i am waiting for this energy and try to continue in the meantime. i feel it still hit me sometimes back that i an doing so much, and i can get very tired at some point.I need to work on that and be patient. But that was my way during chemo and it is still my way. Using all my energy in once and after being knocked out for a few days 😃. I prefer this than taking it always easy . After South Americo i might go to India and do some more yoga and meditation over their. Because i think this shouldn’t be reasons to like myself less.

But next to that, i am really enjoying this beautiful village also for the moment. It is so small, no atm only 2 little shops, but i never feel bored. I love how simple and beautifull it is. With of course also the perfect temperature to me😁. I guess i really needed this time. Today i discovered that the little coffeeplace made ‘pain au chocolat’ 😍. Another little piece of happiness😁. I was walking alone at the beach and met this girl i know from some other place in Ecuador also walking there. So we went getting a drink in this hostel with this nice view.