The end of July i joined a yogaretreat around Valencia. We meditate, did a lot of yoga and the food was vegan and again so creative and good 😍. I keep doing this retreats, to help me finding my balance. I am soo bad in this sometimes. Also i do this retreats because they help me remind again my values in life and they give me new energy. I never thought i would say this but i couldn’t imagine a life anymore without meditation and yoga. Also it helps me to deal with physicall struggles. Yoga is so much more than movements. It is learning again how to breath, once you are used again to breath, it feels like breathing in general goes better. Even when i go running now i never have this problems that i can’t breath easily.
Of course after doing one time you will not feel all the benefits, it is something you need to put in your life, after you will even look forward for this one hour or 2 hour classes in your week. This time that everything around you doesn’t matter. Only you, breathing, making the head empty because you are busy taking care of yourself and your body. The retreat was 6h driving so i made a little roadtrip out of it. I met again amazing people, warm and welcoming, i had some good conversations.
When i came back we enjoyed our home a bit more togeher, eating good breakfast, going to explore beautiful places around, enjoying living in Spain
After that my boyfriend and i flew to Belgium to pick up the children to go to my brother his wedding in Italy. We stayed a few days in Belgium to do all kind of stuff. One of them was that i went shopping with the girls to find them some clothes to go on holiday. Shopping is exhausting but i enjoyed a lot helping to choose and also just to spend time together.
Italy, what an experience. We were in the same hotel as my family so before the wedding we had a little time to spend time together. I enjoyed it a lot. The days went fast. I also got the chance to catch in some time with my godchild. He is such a sweetheart 😍. Also the wedding was amazing. They looked both very beautiful! I am so proud on my brother he got married, he deserves to be happy as he is also so sweet! I wrote him a little text in the airplane that i could read on the wedding. I didn’t expect i would be asked tobread it on the eveningdinner, when my phone only got 2%of battery but luckily he made it until after my speech. I am happy i got the chance to read the tekst because it is really how i think and feel and i think it is nice to share feelings with others.
Also my grandmother was on the wedding, to walk my brother to the alter. I was so happy she was there. She is such a strong woman and i would sign to become like here when i would become older! between the church and the eveningparty, Birger played some guitar for her. This was another beautiful moment i enjoyed a lot. And i saw she was also. He played a song her daughter, my mother song in the past she told me when she left to live with my father. It was a moment i felt a lot of feelings. I felt how we all still mis her a lot. But also many friends of here were there and talked about her so in one way i felt she was there.
It was great to see all this people back, to enjoy this beautiful moment together. The day after the wedding there was another brunch.
In the evening when we went back to our hotel, we singed a song, the children of my boyfriend, my boyfriend and my brother his children. A song for my father his girlfriend and for him to say thank you for all they did to realize this beautiful weekend. Even we don’t see eachother to much i feel a lot of love for my family.
After, we stayed a bit longer to enjoy the lake for a few days. We went hiking on the border with Switzerland, and some other things. Italy is beautiful, like so many places i already saw in my life. The world just keeps amazing me every time!
After Italy, my boyfriend, the children and i took the plane to come to Spain. we spend another 2 amazing weeks here. We went kayaking, sunbathing, cooked, painted, … i love to give so much of myself to them, my time. When i do something i get so much appreciation back, and this feels so good. I love to give to people! Especially to them! The only thing when i give is, that i shouldn’t forget to give also to myself. To give time to me. I am good in one thing or another, but finding a balance keeps challenging me. That is where the yoga is good for 😉. Otherwise i feel like i would give all my time and then be so tired that i would be only taking time for myself but this is not how it goes 😁.
One day i decided to take some time for myself, i went to the beach… than they took my car because i parked wrong, i had to pay a lot because our car is still Belgian, when i drove out of the policestation i got a flat tire so had to go buy a new one, I also almost felt on my face that day😃, so i guess i took the wrong day to relax away from home, it was some expensive ‘me’ time. But that evening we had a dinner with friends, and in the restaurant i got something the children made for me 😍i forgot all what happend before 😁.
Now they returned back to Belgium, to go to school. My boyfriend has a flight so he also went back. For the moment , i am laying here, in the sofa, the sun went down, colours changed above the sea, pink and blue. Now i can see the stars in the sky, and it is Almost full moon. Jusy took my bath because it is more cold than normal, 22degrees brr😃. I am listening to some pianomusic, enjoying some ‘me’ time, the quietness.At the same time i am enjoying al this feelings, of being part now of this wonderfull family.
I start a painting workshop tomorrow, can’t wait for that. Also i offered to do some volunturywork untill we have our house to start a Bnb, because i want to give… We are also busy with that, and i accept the challenge to do the paperwork to make our little car Spanish😬instead ofnthe autogarage to safe money, let’s see how that goes because paperwork in Spain is something you need patience for i experienced already, but i have patience . I learned to have the past years. Everything is going so good for the moment with me. So good that i get scared sometimes, because there is always black and white, we need bad times to feel the good ones. Next month i have a scan again. As long as this stays good and everyone around me stays healthy, i can handle all the bad things coming to me. Also with my health all is going well now, only that i have neckpain again.
I wouls already forget to write about that. Maybe i feel not that good physically. But i have this a lot now so injust accept it amd try not to be busy to much with it. I have pain in my neck , sometimes so much that i feel nautious and have a lot of headach. On the weekend from the wedding we didn’t join all the time because at some point i felt to bad. Luckily my boyfriend understand when i explain i have pain. Also because of the hormontherapy i still think i am much more or faster tired than in the past. If the wedding would have continued longer i would never have made it. But tiredness is ok to me. I just live more carefuly with the energy i have, spend it on things i want. Also pain is something i can live with, if i am busy or i feel good i can ignore it, unless it is to much. Also when i have a bad mood day, because of the hormonthing or just because i have, than i feel more. Sometimes my arm feels a bit heavy, probably from the lymphodema, but this is not affecting me or my mood. The pain in my neck sometimes does. Than i feel like i want to be allone because i have pain and i don’t want to feel happy but i don’t want to distroy my boyfriend his mood. He is so sweet and learned me that if i just tell him clearly what i have so he knows it has nothing to do with him, he just let me struggling a bit with myself like i want on that moment, same when i have one of these emotional days. Then he just let me be a bit on my own and i don’t have to run away anymore. Having a relationship is beautiful, as long as you keep talking to eachother, stay open en honest. But first you need be honest with yourself and open to yourself before you can share all of this to someone else, otherwise you don’t know what to share…that is what i think. And again…meditation, yoga is good for this. So if your boyfriend or girlfriend motivates you also to go to the yogaclass he/she will also feel the benefits of that 😉…. and nooo i don’t mean the benefits of the flexibility 😉😄.
I love my fairytale 👙🌞🧚♀️👩🎨❣️.i experienced the feeling, how this present called life, isn’t a present that stays forever. That is why i decided to live it with more care and love than i already did before, even i already did! But also to make it even more beautiful than it already was. We don’t have to do only crazy things to feel we are alive, just stop….feeling the moment and enjoying that feeling. Also don’t be scared to follow this feelings. I think they lead you in the good direction. Seeing the things on our way like we want to see them, that is why my life is a farytaile, (of course farytails also have dark parts)but mostly they are pink and lightfull😁. Life can be as beautiful as you want depending on how you look at it. I opened myself to feel a lot, and I see a lot of beauty on my way, zi feel a lot of love. I love life, it doesn’t matter how long it is ,i try to make the best of it, on my way doing that a lot of amazing experience and memories are coming up. I believe that is the meaning of this present, the way of life. Whenever i will go i will smile, thinking back about all this . 🙏 i think when you can say this, life is going the good direction 😁