I finally found it

I am on my way back from Portugal. I never made it to Bulgaria as i knew one day before my flight that i needed to stay 2 weeks in quarantaine there when i arrived. This changed already now but at that time it was like that so i changed my destination to Porto, Portugal. When i arrived i took a rentalcar and whent exploring around, i went to a national parc to do some hikking, i visit the wineregion, the beach,… for 7 days.

It felt different than other times. After being stuck in Belgium together with my sweethaert for 3 months, i was looking forward to freedom. To go again wherever i want to explore. I was used to travel on my own before but since i am in this relationship, i just love it to share this moments. I am still happy doing things on my own but many moments in this trip i wish he was with me so he could see the same and we could experience it together. When we went hikking in Belgium he always was the one who gived directions, and of course i got tottaly lost again in the woods in Portugal. I would have wanted to share a boatride on the river in the wineregion together, alone i prefered walking around as i think a boatride is romantic and borring alone. I see how i changed a lot and i missed falling asleep with his arms around me. Yes… i realised again how much i am still in love. Sometimes we need this time alone to look at our life and realise what we have, sometimes we only realise when we miss it. Also it was hard to focus only in the moment this time as my boyfriend had his fly exam again and simulatortest and i had to think about that to, but as i expected my smart professor past all tests well 👏.

Portugal is a beautiful country and i am happy i have this new memories but i can’t wait to be back. Before i left we celebrate fatherday, we went driving a ‘tuktuk’ with my familie in the countryside, it was fun and also good to be together before we are leaving back to Spain.

When i am back in Belgium, we stay for a few days more and then we go back to Spain, finally! First we go to my brother and his , future, wife, there wedding next weekend. But before that, the end of this week, i need to do my 3 monthly controll and go to my oncologist for the results. I hope all is ok 🤞, but i feel that all will be! Also we will talk about my hormontherapy i hope. Maybe there is some other medication for this i can try because still i feel pain sometimes in my arms or legs. Like now i have this pain in my arm again and i don’t know what it is.

A few days later….

I was back in Belgium after Portugal for a few days. I saw the love of my life back and spend time with him and his children, so with my new family. I was so happy to see them back! The day after i came back i went to the hospital to take blood for my controlcheck, after that we went to the beach and had a great time, it was a hot sunny and lovely day! The day after we did a barbeque with the South African airbnb guest that stayed in my boyfriend his house, he also is a very sweet boy, he made as some bananas on the bbq as dessert :).

That weekend we also went all together to my brother and his wife there wedding. The first part of it in the townhall in Belgium. In 2 months we can go continue the party in Italy 😁. It was a wonderfull day to. Even i got wounded, past down on the floor at some point outside and got my plate of food on my forhead :). It was sweet to see how everyone was worried and funny if i think back on that moment, blood on my forhead and mayonaisse and carots in my hair 😂. I like some action in events you know 😉. I really enjoyed spending time with all this people i love and i am happy i didn’t decide to go more early back home to Spain but only after the wedding. Because i know i am not that much anymore on the celebrations and events ass i am mostly of the time to far away. I think my prioritys in life are changing a bit. I love living in Spain but that don’t means i never have to go back to spend some time with the people i love.

The day before the wedding i went to the hospital to get my results. All was good. I am good again for the next 3 months, than i need to have a scan again. Also my oncologist gived me a prescription to try another pill but probably there will not be much difference as it is just another brand. She told me i should continue my hormontherapy for sure, i asked here how longue and she told me again that if i don’t have a childwish i should never stop taking it anymore and stay in my menopauze. So i guess i am already in my menopause from my 28year old… i knew this but still o always ask it again amd hope somewhere she would tell me something els like your results were that good that everything is finished now. But this metastase(second tumor) i had before made me need to keep doing checks every 3 months. The gokd news is, she told me my results were very good 👏👍.I asked if i am cancerfree now , she told me that sometimes, people that are in a similiar situation like me, get at some point in there life a new tumor but that, then they give some radiotherapy and that it is solved again. If they controll me that much the cancer will not have the chance to do crazy in my body but then i just need to keep doing my checks . So i think i am save 😁. I think that now i have a boyfriend , i will not forget my checkups ass i have a reminder now 😉.

Now i am in the airplane after being back in Belgium for 4 days, wow so much happend again this few days. Normally my boyfriend would leave also today with his motorbike to Spain. Because he wants to put his bike in our house there as he can enjoy it a lot in this sunny country. It is a long way to get there by motorbike but a beautifull road to get there, i did it by car and i loved the landscapes. But… i will need to wait to be together back home, because they called him last minute if he wants to do a flight at the end of the week. After that we will finally be togethet at the place were we decide to be together!😍. I am curious to be back home, with colour the swimmingpool has 😅, and how the house is doing and our little car. Finally he also can leave the parkingspace and go home with me.

Corona pushed me to face some fears, i couldn’t run away when i got scared. Now i don’t feel anymore like i need to run away because when i couldn’t i enjoyed and saw i don’t have reasons to be scared of being in Belgium. Of being in love… of being part of a familly. Also i am not afraid anymore if we have a little discusion that the relationship will go down and i will get hurd. I think nothing can pull us down as i feel we only got more connected, like he is he, i am me but together. I feel, i think now about our life and not anymore about mine with a boyfriend in it. The more i get to see of him the more i love him. I love when he is busy with something and droppes all because he remember that he still have to do something else, i love when he plays the guitar, to see him being a sweet father, i love it when he is getting emotional, when he is in his workingmodus, when he is enjoying his bath for hours but also when he gets nervous and i can help him feeling more peacefull, or when he is sad and i can give him a big hug, when he is tired and we can be lazy together,… i could tell so many more things i love about him but i think you all cleary can read that i am just totaly in love with my new family, all of them 😍.

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