There we go again

I just got back from Marrakech on Wednesday. It was another great trip. I met up with an old friend and also i made new friends again , same very sweet Polish guys. One of them is practicing in making reportages, i shared my storie for his camera to practice 😁. If i ever get the result i will share this.

I also met a woman in the car to the Atlasmountaines. This woman was 82years old. Her husband died last year and she always wanted to go to Morocco. Her daughter in law gived her this day trip to the mountains as a present, she didn’t know it included some hiking but she stayed in a coffee place when we did this. She looked a very courageous woman to me. People like this, giving me energy and showing me that our life can be beautiful, it al depends on how you look at it and how you live it, so at the end it al depends on you. Also my friend who lives now in Marrakech made me realise this, i also saw how she moved and build her life over their , and do what she wants, it is great to see that!

I just restarted my radiotherapie again last Thursday. I forgot a bit how it was sitting in this department in hospital for treatments and being the patient with cancer. The past month i had to put the radiotherapy on hold, in this time i went to Prague, Switzerland, Ireland and Morocco, i was busy with other things, if i think back at it, it is great i did this. I also remember i was sometimes feeling a bit more sick than normally when i travel, more fast nautious, pain in my belly, and not the same energy like before. But this are just small things in comparing with what i got back for that. Also for the moment i have a big headach because i am tired. But i wil sleep early one night and this will be much better again.

Also i did walk a lot around in this places and hiked a little. No kilometers like in the past but still i saw a lot. I feel happy i can travel again, maybe a bit more calm, less energy than before but i have back already a lot and i adapt myself and take it more easy. I still enjoy a lot! And cancer start getting on the background of my life.

I past already again 2 radiations and i have this art on my body again for this, temporary lines they draw to see how i need to be under that machine and where exactly they need to put the radiations. That is why they tattoo first little dots on your body, so after they can connect them with eachother. Only 5 more radiations to go. I can’t wait for this to be overπŸ‘. Only Tuesday will be a tiring day i guess because i will have my 3 weekly immunotherapy in Aalst and after that i will have the radiotherapy in Ghent in hospital. Now i got all the dates i booked my flight to Mexico again, lets try this again πŸ˜‰. I hope now it is one straight line to the finish and no obstacles anymore.

I start meeting so many interesting people again these days. I just rented a room in the house of a very sweet woman who is yoga instructor, she is so helpfull. Now i just move to another room because here room was already token these dates so she helped me moving to a room 1km further in a friend of here’s house. This is also such a sweet woman, she helps me out for one more week because i need to be in Ghent 1 week more for the radiotherapy every day. I went taking my post in my apartment, that i rent out now for a year to also a very sweet helpful men. I had already some good conversation with him. Also yesterday i was having a drink with my Brazilian friend and his family. His father had a present for me what was so nice! I know that al these people i write about now, i don’t know for to long yet but if i ever will need help these people will be their for me! This is a great feeling, to feel this humanity. Also another friend i went taking a dinner with this week offered me to stay whenever i want when i will be back in Belgium for getting my therapy. He is also an amazing person, that i feel very greatful for, i love going to dinner together and the nice conversations we always have. But normally i will use a room in Jolien’s house, she is another amazing person πŸ˜ƒi met during the last year that i feel so lucky for. So also while staying in Belgium i already met a lot of amazing people even i want to leave.

I went to a hairdresser this week to, he talked with me about cancer because he also has it. He told me he could help me out finding a job on a boat and told me i should follow up my tumormarkers myself. Taking petscans everywhere in the world and just always let them compair them to see if i am doing ok. He told me pack your stuf and go live your live. I don’t know why but it was great that somebody told me this and say i should take control myself about the situation and just go. He sayed to me i looked like someone who will be better again. Even he don’t know and even i will not stop treatment and go without coming back, it felt good that somebody supported me in a different way. And i can always call him with any kind of question.

i think i am affraid to take controll myself about it and not let doctors do this. He has cancer already his whole life and know a lot about it i don’t. And i don’t really feel like doing to much research in this in the time i don’t spend in hospital.

but it is a great feeling to know if i want i can always do this my way, that this is one option. And that their are people supporting me also in this option, probably this man understand the feeling very well because all he’ve been true.

This weekend i had some more amazing days, meeting up with friend. Sunday was a sunny day, i went taking a brunch with Jolien and after i went visiting anither very sweet friend in the Netherlands, we went to the beach. I love beaches, everywhere in the world. They keep amazing me. Like this one had this cute tower, some dunes, and when the sun went down the moon started lighting up on the other side. Also many colors! I love this feeling i have the last times even more, off appreciating things so much. I think because i am almost finishing these radiotherapy, it is already more easy to enjoy freedom again. I feel also a bit more like ‘me’ again then the past year. A big thing why i feel like this is because i have more energy again already than after chemo. And i realized the last year how important my energy is. It feels great to have it back a bit more! We all have a lot if energy but this is something ‘normall’ for us. Because if we never feel how it is living without things sometimes we don’t realize how grateful we should be to have this things.

I think this is a good thing cancer does with people. Make them realize how lucky we should be with what we have and stop complaining about the things we don’t have. Realising the value of ‘living’ a life and be able to do this like we want and to use what we have. Stop thinking to much but doing more before it is to late.

I had some great conversations again during my brunch, Jolien is someone who always convince me to even more do things like i want. She also helped me a lot with the ‘stage’of stop wearing the fake hair and start walking around with my new short hair style 😁. I finally start doing this, this was harder than i expected it to be because i always had this longer hair and infact i still prefer having longer. But i start getting used to it. Only it is a bit coldπŸ˜‰. I realise it is just a hairstyle and something that will change soon also that i should be happy with having already a hairstyle again 😁. I have to admit it feels great to walk out without having to put anything on my head πŸ˜ƒ.

Now it is Monday already again, i finished my radiotherapy for today, so that means 4more to goπŸ‘. My skin became a bit sensitive but that will also have time to recover again soon. Today i went to some Medical Pedicure because i had another toenail that started to grow wrong and started to infect. This is already the 3th time after chemo i got this. Because of chemo your nails start braking of and then when they start growing back they can grow wrong. Also my immune system is still more weak and more sensitive to get infections. But , so also this problem is solved again now πŸ‘.

One comment

  1. Hi Valerie,

    Simon here (the other Polish guy ;)). Im glad you are over with this round of hemo and recovering from it now. Also keep my fingers crossed for Mexico, hopefully it will be all you want it to be. Looking forward to see you in Poland one day ;).


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