How i see problems as part of happiness

So after removing the abces, i stayed one more night in hospital. In the evening my gynaecologe came in my room. She explained me i will need again this care at home. 2 times a day the nurse has to come to do gauze plugging of the wound. Once before noon and in the evening, this will be for a few weeks. When they come do this i don’t look because i already feel sick only when i think of this. She told me their is a new system in hospital that sucks in that wound,that they will maybe put next week so my breast can heal more faster. Because now my radiations are on hold untill i am recovered again. She told me that evening that i will not make it to catch my flight to Mexico.

After being in hospital, listen to other sad stories, being without food a whole day, having this unexpected problem during other treatments after almost beiing at the end of radiations…this was the worst thing to hear. That night and day after i felt sad. It was not canceling my trip just postponing but after already being in treatments so many months this was to much. I felt angry, and just wanted to be alone without people what wasn’t possible because i was in hospital. But after, when i went home, i talked with a friend who made me realise again i shouldn’t just wait untill going to Mexico to enjoy.

I decided to book a short trip to Prague to spend xmas their with a friend. Only for a weekend because i will probably continue radiotherapy that periode. But that is already nice, also i need to move my things out of my appartment because i plan to travell around again soon. So i have many things to do. I will keep trying untill i am on that plane😉. I changed my flight to Mexico, it will be on 7 Januari. Than i should be ready with radiotherapy and i would also just have had my 3 weekly immunotherapy, than i should be able to leave, if their are no other unexpected problems coming anymore 😬.

Anyway now i don’t have to wait and i already look forward to this nice xmasperiode that is coming. I will need to take it easy a bit to recover from this surgery. When i just got home, my friend came and i cooked for her to celebrate her bday a little. I spended the last days already again, meeting up with friends and discovering new cosy lunch and cofeeplaces in Ghent. The only enoying thing for the moment is that i am feeling nautious a lot of times and also my belly hurts many times. I have to be carefull with the food i eat and i can’t eat a lot anymore for the moment. I think it is stil from the narcose and also from the havy medication i have to take for the moment. I take a medicin that protects my belly to against all this medication but i already toke and stil take so many things that i can imagine my stomage is not the strongest for the moment. But i keep eating what i want ,even sometimes it’s to heavy and i feel sick after, at least i tried😁.

Also the nurses that coming to take care of my wound, are again very sweets ones, some of them i already know of course from before. This was just another unexpected problem crossing my path, but we all have this kind of unexpected things crossing our path in life. I have many problems happening with my health for the moment, some have a lot of problems with their job for the moment, our at home. This is life , we all get problems, fix them, we are happy after that it is fixed, we should be happy if we can fix it and then we move on.

For me, i guess that is a little part of what hapiness is , realising things are going better again and being grateful for that.

Another thing i realised is, that i feel lucky with who i am. I am happy that i look at things the way i do. I could see al what is crossing my path as problems and focus myself on them but in one way or another i don’t think to much about things and i just fix problems, enjoy good moments and move on, i guess that is my way to deal with cancer. Is it a part of who i am or is is something i learned in my life, i guess it is a bit from both, i dont know, but i do know that i feel very lucky for that.

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