Being sick makes me appreciate more

Yesterday i was having this amazing day! I felt normal, good, healty๐Ÿ˜ƒ, i was with a friend enjoying summer.

Doing a picnic, taking a nap next to the lake, listening to the birds, making art with green๐Ÿ˜ƒ, doing whatever, enjoying ๐Ÿ˜„. Just sharing good moments and having good conversations.

When i drove home in the evening, i saw the sun going down and the sky turning pink. It is one of this things that keeps amazing me, i saw such amazing sunsets everywhere, always looking different. I felt so lucky and greatfull for the day! It reminded me also on this amazing sunset i saw in Fiji, little memories like can also put a smile on my face.

Being sick, makes you appreciate moments even more i think! Life can be so busy, we are al living the life and sometimes forgetting to stop for a minute, and breath! Be thankful for things, or to think if what we do, is realy what we want to do. But if you become sick, you need to stop. I think that is one of the good things coming out of it.

Just be thankfull that we can walk , see,.. or to have hair . When i will have back mine, i will appreciate it so much and be so happy with it ๐Ÿ˜ƒ.

Sometimes i think, we live the life ‘like it should be’ but in fact their is no way to live life. As long as it is not against the law we can do things our own way!

I think i learned appreciating live more after getting another sickness, a few years ago, i got anorexia and i stayed in a hospital for 7months. But this is another story. I just tell this because i regret nothing in my life, even getting this. This period in my life helped me getting to know myself very well! It helped me to become more free and maybe stronger to pass this.

But to go back to today, today it is different. I woke up very tired again, ready to clean my room because i move today. I am busy drinking many coffees to help me getting energy.๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Luckely i will get help to move ,from my brother and a good friend! Also i don’t have to much things so it will go fast and then i can go rest again. I move back to my own appartment ๐Ÿ˜. Untill now i did co-housing, i think i will miss this experience to much, but i can always change again๐Ÿ˜‰.

I sold a lot before i left Belgium, 2 years ago. And i want to keep it like that, i don’t like having to much things. It makes me feel like i am stuck here and can’t leave again when i want ๐Ÿ˜‰.

In weekend i try to ignore ass much ass possible i am sick and try not to think about going to hospital again. Also about all the other things coming after chemo. But even i try not doing it, i know i have this little moments in between i do. I still can not believe they recommend me having treatments forever to keep tumors away.

Even this treatments have not to much side effects, it feels like i will need to stay under control, i don’t like control. I still think sometimes about if i will do this or leave Europe, even i should not be worry about this now because we don’t know what is coming, i just have to do this chemo now, and i don’t want to spend my time and energy thinking about the future. Because i know i miss nice moments like this.

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