From long hair to no hair/fake hair

After breastoperation and neckoperation i still looked normal, Only a scar in my neck and breast so i could still ignore i am sickJust started chemo, i keept ignoring i am sickStarting losing hair, but i have a lot of hair ๐Ÿ˜‰Tired of losing hair, so took a short haircut and never felt bad cutting my hair, i actualy liked the new styleShaved it all, i can except now, but looking in the mirror was hard in the beginningMy fake hair because sometimes i just don’t want the people to see i am sick. I never accepted i have cancer and ignored all the signs. Even without the hair i was able to do that. But now after halfway my chemo i have to accept.

Little things are easy to ignore, like bleeding nose, eyes are crying the whole time, skin is dry and fastly cuts, wounds in my mouth, beeing carefull what i eat… But the tireness is the hardest for me. Just being stuck in my bed without any energy. I can do things but after i need a lot of time to recover.

I am a yesman, when people offer me things like meet ups with other people or workshops, i always give it a try. But it can be very confrontating for me, than i see all the people around me with the scarfs or no hair and i realise i am the same.

Also it can make me feel lonely because i know their are more young adults with cancer but i never met them yet in hospital. when i went to this meetings i was always younger than the other woman so i will stop doing this.

Another good thing that came out of saying ‘yes’ to everything, is my buddy! The organisation in Belgium ‘kom op tegen kanker’ gived me a buddy. It is a volunteer who had also some experience with cancer, where you meet up with.

I think my buddy is the sweetest โค๏ธ, it is very hard for me to accept help but because i know she choosed to do this and i asked for this, it makes it more easy to accept. Also she knows how to handle me very wel i think ๐Ÿ˜ƒ.

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